Asteric Kosovic, a dear friend of Asteric and Obelic went outside of the Serbian gates for just a short while to buy some food and never returned. The druid in charge of intelligence,Fakkdapp Fakkdapic informs us that Kosovic has been arrested and brought to the Serb court in Hague. Asteric & Obelic decides to visit that Court in Hague and give Kosovic moral support.
The trial:
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: So you were captured by the accused Kosovic?
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes, big problem capture me cry me poop ……
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: aha, mmm and can you confirm it’s the accused that captured you?
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes accuse. Nato good – officer touch my jaja. Me accuse good my jaja good..
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: What? No, I mean do you see the man who captured you here in the courtroom? Do you see this man (Pointing at the accused) sitting right here? Can you tell us this is the man who capture you? Please only answer yes or okey…
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes he no capture here
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Mr Anal…mmm Mr Analbani!...This man right here Mr Kosovic, this is the man who captured and tortured you in Kosovo, yes?
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes, torture Kosova…yes…yes..
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Now, I know this is very difficult for you……but can you please try to explain to us….first of all…what did he give you?
Witness Analbani Thachi: They give to me dice….
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: a dice?
Witness Analbani Thachi: No?... they give to me dice?.. You say to me I say one dice…yes..I remember …one dice…
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: So you were given a dice….now, in your own words if you have any strength left…why did you get the dice?
Witness Analbani Thachi: yes…big problem…I throw dice…dice roll…dice stop…big problem…
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Ok, so they want you to roll the dice……your honor…I have here the written statement from this witness signed where he clearly remembers exactly that they made him roll the dice…..can we submit this into evidence..
Judge Ivo No Honor Marmelade: Yes
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Thank you your honor! Ok so Mr Analbani, you roll the dice and then what? What did the accused tell you?..why did you have to roll the dice?
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes, Dice stop number 1 to 5, is big problem..
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Why was that a big problem?
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes, Dice stop number 1 to 5, they kill, I dead!
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: So, if the dice stops on numbers 1 to 5, you would be killed?
Witness Analbani Thachi: Yes, yes, big problem….
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Ok, so what happens if the dice stops on number six?
Witness Analbani Thachi: No big problem, is good. Dice stop number six, I roll dice one more time…
Prosecutor Jim Cockroach: Thank you Mr Analbani Thachi! Ladies and gentlemen…I rest my case!
The Judgement
The accused Asteric Kosovic:
Is hereby beyond any reasonable doubt found to be guilty of Gambling. And since gambling may lead to addiction, the term Genocide is to be used in the sentence. The accused is sentenced to order lifetime supply from the Clinton Moonshine International INC. To pay the sum of one kidney and a healthy lounge to the Albright & Blair Anti Serb Foundation and finally to 2 years of drinking the depleted uranium soaked water manufactured by the Wesley Clark Bombing Association.
By Den Galna Serben
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